Yours Bloody Daughter

Today on the World Poetry Day I would love to share with you an incident which my Doctor shared with me this morning. Words have power and readers know that “Supporting or suppressing any crime is equal to committing the crime. Raise your voice against violence”. These are the words I try to pen down on how that girl felt before committing suicide.

That afternoon, I remember the first time I bled

Standing below shower and watching my vagina bleed

Drop by drop on the white tile,

The water takes red colour and washes the same

I didn’t had guts to share with you Maa

What my Uncle did to me, He said he’d buy me gifts

But no gifts can fix this!

I thought I’d die this moment,

But I was holding on, remembering your face Maa

The next day again after school, you sent him to pick me up

He took me again to the same quiet place and asked me to lift my skirt

He noticed that I was bleeding

But Maa, his lust had crossed limits

He pushed himself inside me in the pool of my blood

I cried out of pain, Nobody was there to save me

Not even you Maa.

And one day I finally gathered courage to share this heinous act with you

You asked me to shut my mouth else the pride of our family would crumble down to the ground.

You cared more about the family name Maa, not me.

While I write this suicide note I still shed tears of blood

Not for what uncle did,

He hurt me. Yes, he was a cruel man

But you Maa?

You are as responsible as him for the crime.

I still love you Maa because I know how it pains when you bleed.

Please don’t do the same to my sister,

Dear mother,

Yours Bloody Daughter.

Dear readers there are many people facing many issues walking arm to arm with you, smiling and dealing the world somehow. It’s time you start noticing them, noticing your own self. If there’s anything you are facing remember help is always the next door. Kindly share your problems and let’s find out the solution together. Suicide is not an option. Life is not given to take away. There will be hard times but don’t forget you are the bravest!

Love,

Sakina. M. J

That day, I shall be reborn.

When the rain will sprout from roots

When the sky bares creepers fall

When we walk irrespective of gravity

And gossips are punishable offence.

When love is universal language

And eyes speak and mouths remain muted

When fauna have no extinct

When Dinosaurs are reborn, but this time they cause no harm.

When ‘STOP DEFORESTATION’ is not just a slogan

And all are friends with animals like Tarzan,

When development is on the way

Yet roots ain’t uprooted

Instead of high buildings, Tree Houses are recommended

When emotional imbalance is no more a disease and treated wisely

And when all are actual ‘humans’ and not just ‘physically’

That day,

That day, I shall be reborn

Modern yet modest,

Developed yet rooted,

Heighs yet embracing lows,

Power, yet love being the only resource!

-Sakina. M. J

“In”dependent!

Hello Folks,

Long time no read! Apologies for delay.

Okay Formalities first – “Happy Independence Day”. So today, more than Independence Day it is one such day where WhatsApp and all social media platforms are flooded up with posts of our beautiful Tricolour Flag and people with white Kurtis captioning “Proud to be Indian!” Your ears fill up with lines “Aaj se sattar(70) saal pehle….” (Only if you wake up and attend the hoisting ceremony though!). India seems to be dipped by thought of Patriotism and not to forget the Swachch Bharat Abhiyan. Actually I’m not here to lecture you on how our ancestors did a great deal and you got to be thankful and all that. Oh Yes! I am thankful, we are thankful. But wait, are you really untied from all the shackles? Just to emphasize on thought of what actual Freedom is and eventually it’s you who gotta figure it out.

In midst of your busy material life if you find time then please check out on yourself. Are you free? Is India actually independent? Or still being “In” Dependent? No am not telling you to raise your voice and shout out etc. I’m just trying to tell you to stop screaming and start listening, to stop looking and start seeing, to stop denying and start accepting. Because from the vision I possess, I see that we all are tied up. What I find is only Rulers left the country, poverty didn’t. Kohinoor left the country, corruption didn’t. And you know what, this freedom thing or idea of actual independence cannot be achieved by being emotional today on a so called “GooseBump” speech.

Freedom can be achieved only when a voice from within crops up to your notice  and tells you that you still are a SLAVE! Get up, slog to set yourself free and certainly the country will be and then the world you see. Because even a flip of butterfly’s wing causes Tornado.

Change starts from You! No, No wait.

Change starts from ME! Now that’s pretty certain enough. Have a great Independent Life!

Sakina. M. J

It’s time to heal the “YOU”

So when boredom strikes me, I scroll through my whatsapp people and check their statuses. That defines their life most of the time. And then one girl had updated something just like this :-

“We were introduced by a mutual known, soon we became close and now only in each others memory we belong “.

On being questioned about the reason, she poured on me her heart breaking story.

There comes a point in every individuals life where you are introduced to a stranger who soon becomes your obsession or your skin to skin connection or perhaps even the soul to soul one. And then comes an unusual barrier which dispatches you, you will get hurt and the “Emotional Trauma” will certainly haunt you. “Sooner or later you will be OK” this will be a never ending hope. Coz you really won’t be that okay. Saint Kabir says “Dhaaga jab tutaiye toh judi naa paayi, jur bhi gayi toh gaanth pari jaayi”.

That’s a pang to lose someone you love. That someone who was a sweet malign. Alas! This emotion of yours can’t be put on scaffold to yell at people out there whom you fake a smile like “Hey there? Look am broken, I look Ok but am not. So anyone here to mend my broken pieces back then please ring me at this number”. Sounds funny, ain’t it? But believe me, if you put this advertisement you will certainly get the one who will mend you back. Bad irony though! 

So here’s to the broken hearts and shattered pieces :-

Mend yourself coz no-one will do it for you,

As the cobbler mends the shoe.

Nail your priorities on apotheosis,

As without thorn ain’t real roses.

Getting your heart broken once is fine,

But twice is against the divine.

Learn the lesson taught,

Pull yourself out of sought.

It ain’t easy and it shouldn’t be,

And this time you can’t flee.

Take a stand, fight like you should,

Coz  its time to show that you are shrewd.

Then ignore your heart,

Ignite your brain.

Sit in the fearless cart,

Drive till you strain.

In this world remember,

People ain’t forever.

Yes, their memories are,

Even if they are far.

You won’t change this way,

You grow;

And growth is inevitable they say.

So tie up your shrinked heart,

Clear it’s wrinkles apart.

Out of past, embrace the new.

Call back the person inside you

Which you once threw.

 

Stay inspired, keep hope and your head all above. Till then,

Sakina. M. J

 

Dear Life

DEAR LIFE:-
A desire in me,
To put fire on you;
To chuckle you down,
And play your every move like a clown.

With a wicked smile,
You come to me.
Ages have past by,
Still you won’t let me free.

Since all these days
Game you played,
And I learnt;
Flames fell on you,
And I burnt.

Patience from which I was unknowledged from,
It might have been my choice.
Treading towards dark,
Away from sight; I danced in rejoice.

To teach me value of light,
You pushed me in dark pitch,
I was fool but I learnt,
The warm wax fell on you,
And I burnt.

I realised,you were a harsh teacher
With intentions clear.
You hit me harder,
I kissed the ground,
Blood from forehead was found.

With bruises all over,
I planned to give up.
Again something ignited me,
I guess the urge of letting me free.

If not now, then slave forever,
Becoming master I endeavor.
Dusting myself up,
To face your ferocious eyes;
Dear Life,
Am no more a mice.

Too hard, too rude, too tough are you,
You taught me that,
“Only strength respects strength,
To survive, fear has to end”.

Thank you for the scars,
They made me tough.
Thank you for the burns,
They taught me patience.
No more whinings,
Like A Star, soon I will be shining!
Sakina. M. J

Your Companion.

Well said is this proverb “Its your road, yours alone; Someone can walk with you, no one can walk for YOU!” We humans usually mistake ourselves that someone may be there to help us, guide us. This may not be 100% true too. I agree some people really put their heart out to make you smile but the question is “till when?”
I recently happened to scroll down my eyes through a story, which perhaps might be a real one too. It read as follows:
Once a Gorilla was with her baby, wandering in jungle and pampering her child with lots of love. Many of the animals walked ahead to fulfill their hunger out of the Baby Gorilla, the mother Gorilla shooed them away and stood like an undefeatable bodyguard for saving her child. Soon to her notice she found her feet getting wet, first thing she did was lifting her child above and holding him tight towards her chest like a “mai tumhe kuch nahi hone dungi” feeling. That’s what mothers usually do. She then noticed that a huge rush of water was struggling to enter the jungle. This fear consumed her. The mother Gorilla thought to climb up the tree in order to save hers and her baby’s life. She successfully climbed the first branch of tree and the water reached here too.
Cyclone had hit the jungle and the jungle was situated on an island. Many of the animals were being washed out and their squeal was at the loudest. Mother Gorilla always wanted her child to breath for longer span. Negativities were haunting her and she couldn’t even puke it, deciding to climb on the other branch, she gulped down her pessimistic thoughts. She then was on second and then the third one. Finally the last one, she could see nothing but water. This view left her brain in mute mode. Water touched her knees she lifted Baby Gorilla towards her chest, the level of water increased, she now stood on toes still saving her child. Soon the water entered the Mother Gorillas nose, now this was a high time. She now entered selfish zone and put the Baby Gorilla below her feet and stood at an altitude, thus saving her life.

Yes I agree it indeed was an animal, but animals carry a lot of courtesy than us, this fact shouldn’t be forgotten!
So what I actually mean is only you is your companion. From the first inhale to the last exhale. You will find some people between this span, they will fondle you, pamper you, at times they may even leave you. This will hurt I agree, but this will make you realize the bitter truth. Accept yourself the way you are. Imitation leads to nothing but loss!
Your head you should never bow,
Face the world in its eyes,
You are brave, you have to show!

So from now on, fall in love with you, discover yourself before you discover things and yes one more thing; live yourself before death kisses you.

Sakina. M. J

If !

If you weren’t born, you wouldn’t be dead.
If you weren’t hurt, tears you wouldn’t shed.
If you weren’t in love, you would never day dream.
If it couldn’t pain, you wouldn’t scream.
If it wasn’t you, no one could be that;
To walk in your shoes and wear your hat!
If sad and happy weren’t the moments,
Tears would never be present at those events.
Your wet eyes with dreams large and a limit line,
And your strength you gotta prove even being not fine!
If you cant be owner of your thoughts,
Idea remains an “idea” and the reality is slaught.

You see what you are up to,
Burn the old being, bring up an new,
From the ashes like the ‘Phoenix’ do!

Sakina. M. J

And Am Still Waiting….

The clock has struck 3,
You promised now you would be free.

Waiting for your presence to be felt,
My hand in yours to be held.

A touch of care and love of desire,
Is all I need to set my heart on fire.

But the needles seems to run faster,
and I find you nowhere
Is this a bad dream or a real disaster?

Then I find myself on door,
Sometimes whining on the floor.

On the balcony, finding the sunset,
I remembered the evening when we first met.

Suddenly I find your portrait,
On it string of dried flowers, this made me frustrate.

They say your no-more,
But your there says my heart’s core.

My body seems to be cold and fainting,
Every inch of my skin seems to be dying,
And am still waiting…….

Life with PI !(precisely “math”)

Being a junior engineer(a diploma passed out girl) I had lost my touch with the horrifying subject-MATH, but then I was welcomed to Engineering third semester with the ‘FOURIER SERIES’ being the first module of Mathematics!
‘Meri Aatma Tumhe Hamesha Sataaayegi’ says MATHS for we Engineers(precisely for those who hate math). We Engineer’s cannot describe life of our mathematical “pi” but instead am trying to narrate how math be’s like. or basically about our life with pi and son’s and brother’s and all.

It all began between 600 and 300BC in Egypt where mathematics gave birth, invention of number’s was fine but when alphabets entered the condition worsened, our brains got differentiated by parts and integration of that was a zero. Story didn’t end on zero, coz zero ain’t a silly player too. When done as limit tending to zero, it screws us on “wall of shame”. Because “wall of fame” is preoccupied by Newton, Aryabhatta, Euclid and many more! They just are physically absent, you find them alive in almost all textbooks of Engineering and we people pummel and pulverize them mentally daily. I apologize the lover’s of MATH.

During my Math class my professor scribbles a question on board, while am still noting it down people have found answer for the first step! I be like ‘Did they knew this question before? Does my professor do partiality by giving them questions a day before?’ . Then I get busy solving for the first step hold on! they found answer for the third!! Now I be like ‘My calculator seems to be too slow’. LOL. Its depicts a proverb “naach naa aave aangan teda” and yes I be that.

“Assume” says the professor, I lose my brain coz I hate assumptions. Sometimes I wonder why doesn’t my math professor simply assumes me and mark me present when I actually am not?
Math seems to be in panache! Why I don’t like it is because I don’t skive, need to ensnare a lot. I just keep wondering at people who are enthralled by this subject, hope I too get fascinated soon.

But then yes it indeed is a subject which says you “Hello! I may seem difficult but I do have solutions; you just need to work your ass off”. Be it life or math, every problem has a solution. But are you ready to work for it?

Sakina.M.J

Traces of you.

Traces of you,
Are left like drops of dew.

The time we spent was quite long,
Now I realize that to you I belong.

Distance has made me sense,
That I feel good in your essence.

If only this makes me happy,
Then my life without you is completely shabby.

Come back and make me feel special,
Searching for you my eyes and bones have got brittle.

One every step I need you I accept,
I’ll be yours the promise I have kept.

I know that apology is not worth my mistake,
Forgive me and lets move ahead.

I also know that you still love me,
Keep aside your ego and make my heart free.

It is locked up in your cage,
And meditating only for your love like sage,

Let we start from before by being a friend,
But one thing is for sure;
I’ll be yours because I’ll love you till the end!